He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
