Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i barfeds in our rink
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
