Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize