Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
