well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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