yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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