well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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