barbara walters just said penis...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
