I skipped work to stalk him.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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