I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize