you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
