i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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