READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
