Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
