Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
