i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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