That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
