ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
