when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
