Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
