I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
