Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
