i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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