hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize