We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
