We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
