Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize