Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
