A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
