listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
