I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
