nut hugger
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
