I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
And then my night got REAL pukey
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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