Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
