the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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