idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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