why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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