i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
