how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
