you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Your dad touched me again.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
