Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
