I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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