I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
