There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
