So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
