So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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