...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
