If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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