happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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