he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
