i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
