I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
