Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
