so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
