Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
