i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Success! We fucked roommates!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
