Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
