garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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