I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
