hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
