Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
