so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
