Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
