This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
