rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
