No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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