Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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