no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
