I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
