your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
