some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize