This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
