What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
