I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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