; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
