Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize