is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
