Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Where is the hickey?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
