it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
